Brush With Death

Cameron and Brooklyn had stayed up all night. They were both caught up in their own little worlds. Brooklyn was a theatre enthusiast and practiced hours and hours on auditions. Cameron was trying to figure out their next move. She had been climbing the corporate ladder.  She knew there was more to life than just working to work. She had been hustling in one way or another her whole life. She knew there were a lot of things that could break her in this world.

When they woke up they had a slow morning. The annoyingly relaxing kind. They slept in, they moved a little, they snoozed some more.  Cameron had finally gotten Brooklyn to clean her room. Brooklyn was a great kid but ugh that room. And her attitude, ugh! You didn’t know whether to hug her or strangle her.

Metaphorically of course.  Cameron really loved her daughter, she wouldn’t actually kill her…unless Brooklyn tried to kill her first…but they aren’t those kind of people. They valued life. They were both pretty sensitive. They wouldn’t even kill bugs. Preventative maintenance, that was their game.

The duo were each others greatest challengers and greatest cheerleaders. Cameron felt blessed that Brooklyn wanted to make great grades so she could get a scholarship for school and go out and pioneer a trail blazing path.  Brooklyn was proud of her mom…she was also just highly embarrassed by her. 

Her mom couldn’t buy a clue, and even if she had, she would still ignore it. Her mom wasn’t just an impulsive firework. She was a missile. And Brooklyn was tired of suffering for her mom’s occasional super massive bad choices.  Her mom had the absolute worst taste in men.

Brooklyn thought about her dad Phil.  She loved him so much.  Her parents didn’t talk much.  There was a lot of history and they weren’t exactly on the best of terms. Things had been better lately. Her parents were both taking some time to get their priorities straightened out. 

They had been split up for a long time.  And then her mom married George.  She didn’t want to think about George.  Her mom loved George a lot.  She had been obsessed with him.  But she finally woke up and realized how toxic their marriage was for them.  It was complicated.

Cameron shook her head and finally remembered she had made some semi solid plans with her best friend Zoey. Zoey’s husband, Corky, was out of town on business and the friends were long overdue for a visit. 

Family isn’t always blood was their motto.  They both grew up without a sibling. But if there ever were better sisters, it was these two. They had been friends since their teens.

Cameron and Zoey were like chicken noodle soup.  Together they were just good for the soul.  They had their disagreements back in the day but they eventually figured out their mess.

For a while they would run in different crowds but they always found their way back to each other.  Need a drink? Need to change schools? Need a job? Need a roommate?  Need to borrow a car?  Need a designated stick shift driver when the other one is wasted?

It really brought the two closer each time.   They never judged each other or took each other too seriously.  They were those friends that didn’t have to tip toe around each other.

Growing up and having kids really put a lot into perspective.

Cameron started reminiscing.

After Brooklyn was born, Cameron completely changed her life.  She had a near death experience in the delivery room.  The anesthesiologist had given her so much medicine that it had temporarily paralyzed her. 

She was wide awake and couldn’t breathe.

She remembered her mom, Anne, was with her in the delivery room. Anne had noticed that Cameron wasn’t blinking or opening her mouth to breathe.  Anne told Cameron to breathe.  Cameron remembered trying to tell her mom that she couldn’t breathe, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Her mother had saved her life.  Anne had to alert the doctors that Cameron wasn’t breathing.  The doctors responded with an emergency intubation and c-section. 

Cameron went into a coma during the delivery but she had memories of the sound of Brooklyns cries before it all went light….and then dark.

She woke up on a cat scan table.  It scared the day lights out of the nurse that was inches from her face when Cameron’s eyes popped wide open!

“She’s awake, she’s awake,” the nurse cried.  They weren’t kidding.  Cameron never felt more awake.  She felt grateful and relieved.  She blinked, she could barely feel her lips, her throat felt full.  All her senses were coming to life, faster than her actual body would move.  Not surprising considering she had been paralyzed by the epidural earlier.

Her eyes scanned her surroundings.  There were tons of doctors around her.  At least six and a bunch of people staring through the window.

“Cameron…Cameron…Congratulations, you had a beautiful baby girl and she has the most beautiful red hair.” Dr. Rivas told Cameron while another doctor was giving her a neurological exam. 

Dr Rivas had the biggest relieved smile.  She was so happy that she would get to bring the family good news.  Their daughter, niece, best friend, girlfriend, cousin, didn’t completely die that day.

The delivery nurse, Samantha had rushed back to the family that was in the delivery room in joyous tears.  Cameron’s Dad, Lewis, and Brooklyn’s Dad, Phil, were outside trying to calm down.  Lewis had quit smoking a few years ago.  But if there were anytime to smoke.  This was it.  This was the moment.

The family had been a wreck.  They felt so conflicted.  They were so proud to see Brooklyn, Cameron’s beautiful red haired baby, and so terrified that Cameron was going to die. 

Cameron was in a coma.  What would happen to Brooklyn?  Who would she go to?  Anne wasn’t going to let Brooklyn go without a fight.  That was her one and only grand baby and she may have just lost her one and only child.

“She’s awake, Cameron is awake,” Samantha announced to the large room full of people.  At least twenty people were there. 

Happy chatter and relieved tears flooded the room.  Samantha cried as much as the rest of them.  She had been with Cameron before she had gotten her epidural and had promised her she was going to keep her and her baby safe.

One of Cameron’s close friends was also having complications during delivery and every parents worst fears came true.

Samantha was so angry with that anesthesiologist.  It wasn’t confirmed in writing, nor disclosed publicly, but they all agreed he had given Cameron way too much medicine to cause her to stop breathing.  He was such an arrogant jerk.

Brooklyn was getting passed around from family member to friend.  Anne was still disturbed.  After she had told the doctors that Cameron wasn’t breathing, they had just pushed her out of the room so fast.

She understood why, they had to save her daughter’s life, but not knowing for the last two hours what was going on with her daughter was agony.

She was able to watch from outside the window as Brooklyn was being delivered.  Six doctors swarmed Cameron as she started to turn blue from lack of oxygen. 

One doctor started chest compressions while another pushed a breathing tube down her throat and started pumping air into her lungs.

 Dr. Rivas jumped on top of the table straddling Cameron’s legs, obstructing Anne’s view of Cameron’s face. The doctor made a quick decisive incision.  Within 90 seconds, she had Brooklyn out. Brooklyn seemed in disbelief at first. Like she had been asleep this whole time.

Anne gasped.  Brooklyns head was so long.  Like a cone head. She’d never seen anything like it.  She later asked a doctor if that was normal…if Brooklyn was ok.  The doctor said it was completely normal.   Anne and the family were still skeptical despite the doctor’s reassurance.

Cameron knew a lot of people and had a lot of friends.  She had many flaws but she was incredibly charismatic.  She never knew a stranger.  And she invited everyone and their mother to come witness Brooklyns birth.  She was so incredibly proud.  She knew Brooklyn was going to change the world forever.

Cameron, astonished at hearing that she had a baby girl, burst into tears. She knew all along that she was having a girl, but hearing it out loud really made it real.

“I did!?!?” She said surprised, sobbing.

She started to choke when she realized there was something in her throat.  The doctors told Cameron to relax for a minute while they took out her breathing tube.  Two of her cousins Trixie and Amber, her aunt Wanda and her mother Anne rushed to her side as they wheeled Cameron to ICU. 

The breathing tube came out and Cameron took a large lung bursting breath.  Like the first one she’d had in a while.  Suddenly she got light headed and as all the anesthesia wore off, she hurled.  She hurled all over her two oldest cousins.  Two of the people she respected most in the world. 

She just threw up all over them.  And they took it like a champ.  They knew she couldn’t help it. They both helped her clean up as Cameron apologized profusely.

“We’re going to take Cameron up to ICU for observation “.  Dr. Rivas told the group.  Cameron furrowed her brow.

“I don’t understand. When can I see my baby?” Cameron asked, her hormones going insane from not seeing her girl.

“You won’t be able to see her yet, they don’t allow newborns into the ICU because we don’t want them to get sick”.  The nurse told her apologetically.

Cameron nodded in understanding but still burst into tears.  Her mom followed her up into the ICU as they got Cameron settled.  She brought Cameron a picture of Brooklyn so she could see how beautiful she was.

“You cooked that ham up real good, she is so perfect, and she has your hair.  She’s the only baby in the nursery with red hair.  All the other babies are brunettes.  There are six of them.  They call her pumpkin,”.  Anne gushed.   Cameron was so relieved to have her mom there.

Cameron peered at the picture of her newborn.  She expected to feel some relief from seeing Brooklyns picture.  But the picture wasn’t much.  She didn’t seem real.  Like it was just a picture of a baby.  But Cameron knew better.  She knew that picture wasn’t anything like the little baby she had been carrying for the last nine months.

“I’m going to go get Phil and let your dad know too.  They’re only letting one of us come see you at a time.   Which one do you want to see first?” Anne asked.

“I want to see Dad,” Cameron said.  It really wasn’t much of a choice.  Her and Phil…well their relationship wasn’t great.

“Ok I’ll go get him and then I’ll tell Phil to go up next.” Anne said as she was backing out of the room.

Cameron was alone for all of five minutes.  She came to the annoying realization that she couldn’t feel her toes.  She wanted to wiggle them.  It was driving her bonkers not being able to move her legs.  Or wiggle her toes. Argh!

“Hey squirt,” Lewis said walking into the ICU room.

“Hey Dad,” Cameron replied weak.  “Can you pick up my feet and move them?”  Lewis nodded his head.  He never really said no to Cameron.  She was his only kid, his pride and joy.  He grabbed her right foot and pushed it around.  “Can you try to push my toes around?” Cameron asked.

“Sure!  You want me to pop them too?” Lewis said with a toothy smile.  He was pretty goofy.  He liked to make people laugh.  Unless he didn’t like you.  Then he’d throw you out the window.  He did it at least once in the seventh grade.  He had matured quite a bit since meeting Anne though.  She didn’t take any shit from him.  He was over the moon for Anne.

“No, I’m not sure i would feel it if you did, so probably not yet.” Cameron smiled.

“Pain means you’re still alive though…. bwahaha I’m just messing with you.  You had us all out there worried.  I can’t believe I didn’t start smoking again.  I was out there with Phil and he had those cigs right there but I said nope.  Not going to do it.  But man I really wanted one.  It was one of those smoke two at the same time kind of moments..” Lewis recalled the tale with great animation. He was good at telling a story.

“It scared the piss out of me too.  I thought I was going to die.  In fact I thought I did die.” Cameron told him tiredly.  Lewis looked over at her worriedly.

“Welp, kid, we thought you were going to die too.  I’d never seen your mom so upset.”

“Someone’s looking out for me,” Cameron mused.

“Can you feel your legs yet?” Lewis asked.

“Um….i think I felt something around my butt.  I think my butt is waking up.”

“That’s progress!  Well I’m going to go get Phil, tell him to come say hi to you,”.  He put her leg down and grabbed his old dirty baseball hat.

“Ok thanks Dad.” Cameron said as her dad walked out.

A few more minutes flew by.  Cameron couldn’t feel her toes still.  Ugh this was going to make her crazy!

Phil walked in.  He looked haggard.  Stressed out.  Relieved.  Annoyed.  He was having to deal with too many people today.  He was pissed about all the people around.  He didn’t like them all holding their baby.  And he was both relieved and irritated with Anne for taking the lead on taking care of Brooklyn.  She was a big help but sometimes she acted like Brooklyn was more hers than his.  He also was overall pretty pissed that he even had to be there to talk to Cameron.

It was weird cause he thought what he had with Cameron was love.  Him and Cameron had different ideas about what love was though.  He initially loved all she would do for him.  She took care of Mary for him.   She bought him a car and a TV.  She gave him a place to live.  But he didn’t like her.  She was book smart but not street smart.  Thats what him and his sister always said.  He thought she was a stupid spoiled brat.  She worked some stupid dead end job at Wally World.  And a bunch of her Wally World friends were down stairs, passing around his baby.

“Hi,” he said to Cameron as he walked in the room.

“Hey,” she said back.  The silence was pretty awkward.

“Why did you invite all those people from work to come see our baby,” he started in on her almost right away.  Cameron resisted the urge to tell him to eat dust.

“I’m proud of her.  And it’s a family tradition.  We all show up for the new borns.  It’s actually a family tradition on my mom’s side”. Cameron said as she squashed back the urge to get angry.  Her and Phil made each other pretty angry.  It was a bad situation .

“Well they’re filthy and they need to wash their hands” he said disgustedly.  Cameron was tired of his terrible attitude.  He was so negative about everything.

“Ok, make sure you go tell them that.  I’ll be stuck here waiting to feel my toes again”. Cameron quipped.

“What’s wrong with your toes?” Phil asked skeptical.

“I can’t feel them,” Cameron repeated.  “I can’t even feel my legs.  I can’t move them. “

“Well you almost died.  Be glad you have your legs.”  he said.  The room went silent.

“What kind of medicine are they giving you for pain?”  He asked.

“Hydrocodone, the 10 mg. “ she responded.  Phill scoffed.

“10s?  That’s it?  Those assholes. Tell them you need a higher dose.  I can’t believe the nerve. Of those guys.”

Cameron sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.  She hated the negativity.  And why was he deciding how much pain medicine she needed?  Shouldn’t she be the judge of that? She looked up at Phil.  Eager for him to leave. 

He realized she wasn’t going to say anything. He was chomping at the bit to get out of there so he could relax.

“Anyways.  I’m going back to the house, do you need anything?  It will be a few hours before I get back.  I’m going to work on finishing the nursery”.  He said.

“I think we have everything.  How’s Mary doing?” Cameron asked as he was getting ready to leave.  Mary was Phil’s older daughter.

“She’s good,” he chuckled, preparing to tell her something funny.  “Today was a half day at school and we forgot she was at school so your dad ran over to pick her up.”

“Oh poor baby”. Cameron said woth concern evident in her voice.  “Where is she now?”

“She’s with your mom and the family.  She wore a glove on her hand and Brooklyn got hungry and tried to suck it off her finger. “ He laughed.

“I can’t wait to meet her” Cameron sighed anxiously.

“She’s beautiful,” Phil assured before he left.  He wasn’t terrible all the time.  Just most the time.

After Phil left she had six more visitors, all friends she had met before Phil.

Libby was her last friend to come up.  Libby and Cameron were chums.  They talked on the phone all the time.  In fact Libby was probably the reason Cameron wasn’t going insane.

Libby had seen the changes in Cameron since she had met Phil.  Cameron didn’t realize it, but in all her independence, she was also a total codependent.  She knew Phil was a jerk. 

He even told her as such.  He told her real early in their relationship that a lot of people thought he was an asshole.  He wasn’t lying that time. And still, for Cameron, the idea of doing something wrong that would make Phil angry, was worse than Phil being a total jerk every day any day whenever he wanted.

Libby didn’t like Phil.  So she made a point to call Cameron as often as she could.  She knew Cameron needed someone and it would piss off Phil.  He didn’t want anyone to call Cameron when he was around.  He would call her friends annoying, or even the ones he did claim to like, he would complain or heavily sigh or get mad if Cameron answered their call .

Libby stayed with Cameron for almost an hour.  The whole time pushing Cameron’s toes around until she started to get some feeling in one of her legs.  Cameron’s eyes lit up.

“I can feel the top of my foot itching.” Cameron said delighted.  Libby was thrilled for her friend and very relieved.  Not being able to feel your toes was no joke.

“Thats awesome my friend. “. Libby said.

While she was there she had shown Cameron hundreds of pictures that her and her mom had taken of Brooklyn.  She also had tapped into Cameron’s phone and updated her MySpace and Facebook on behalf of Cameron who had been in labor and later a coma that day.

Cameron could hardly contain herself.  She started crying again.  She wanted to see Brooklyn.  To hold her.  She felt like a piece of her was missing. Libby gave her friend a hug and a pat.  Don’t worry you heard the doctors earlier, you’ll get to see her in the morning, and you know damn well that Anne isn’t about to let anything happen to her grand baby. “ Libby said proudly.  She was very confident in Anne.  She respected the hell out of her.

“I know.  This just feels weird.  I keep remembering it over and over.“ Cameron sighed.  She looked at her friend and realized it was getting late and her friend had work later that night at Sonic.   “Hey I’m sorry, I’ve been keeping you.  Thank you for helping me with my toes.  I think I feel one of them now. “

“Nine more to go” Libby quipped as she was leaving.

Cameron sighed.  She was nervous.  She didn’t like being alone.  Phil had not returned.

 

She had an idea what he was up to.  But she was ok with him not being back, she didn’t really want to deal with him on top of being a mother of a baby she couldn’t even see yet.

What was even more disconcerting, was that the doctors didn’t really think she needed to be there either.  She was one of the most alive patients they had ever seen in the ICU.

“Dr. Death” as some of the residents were starting to call him, was a relatively new anesthesiologist to the hospital.  He told the hospital directors that Cameron’s smoking history must have been the reason she stopped breathing mid-delivery, even though Cameron hadn’t smoked cigarettes in months.  And to cover the hospitals ass, they treated her to a day at the ICU spa, apart from Brooklyn, who was equally missing her mother.

Without the company, Cameron fell into a trance.  She couldn’t tell if she was awake, or if she was dreaming she was awake….

Cameron’s in a dicey predicament.